I started working out again and so far lost 7lbs in a week and a half! Which is good, but I'm completely 10x more careful then ever watching what I eat. My new way of thinking comes from the book Women, Food and God by Geneen Roth. She was talking about this book on Oprah (my fav) and it challenges women to look at the deepest reason for turning to food.
I found out first that I have and addiction to food - really it may seem like a no brainier but when truly honest with myself I noticed that I really turn to food as a source of comfort to an extreme. I never over eat, I'm not the girl who eats a giant portion of food every meal. But I'm more of a private eater. Since I was young I never liked eating in front of people, when I went out with friends I would eat hardly anything and then go home and eat half a pizza. All through-out high school I skipped breakfast and lunch and then binged out for dinner. I defiantly know now that that is crazy! But at the time I thought it was "A OK!" LOL Uhhhh dork! Now its more of eating as a way to calm myself, and engage in deep thinking while I'm alone. Its when I'm alone I'm in the most trouble, when I'm board, sad, in deep thought. After problems with Ben last year I would think I'd want to get skinnier, but I just ate more at times. Now I've been more active, but I'm always thinking about food.
The second thing I learned about myself, is I have another dangerous use for food, its an activity. When my mom and I go out we always go out to eat, when Ben and I want to get out on weekends, its always about food. So not that I eat tons, that's not the issue, but the problem is seeing eating as a thing to do, and my favorite at that! After reading more of the book I found the root of this goes very deep to my parents childhood and beyond.
When I really looked back, I came to an interesting blend of what is now my eating habits (sounds crazy deep right there, I'm such a poet! Not! LOL) When my mom was growing up it was a typical Puerto Rican home, every day was surrounded by three huge meals! Every celebration, weekend, GUEST that would walk into the home was a call for food! Come home from school, food, bring a friend? There is plenty to go around! In fact bring their whole family over for dinner! So my mom always made huge portions for our family. Because for her family, a portion meant each person get seconds and plan for a possible third!
My dad was the opposite as a kid, there were days he and his five siblings would go without food, he remembered looking out the window waiting for his dad to come home and hopping he would have food with him. Now my dad has more then enough food, but he's all about not waisting a thing! So when we were eating as kids, we needed to put the amount we were going to eat on our plant and not waste any! He eats all the left overs and then some. LOL
So in my adult life I've always used food as a way to feel happy comfortable, to feel love with friends and family, and if I'm out spending money on food, I have to eat every bit (which is why sometimes I get a little to begin with) But I eat every bite of every meal, even if I'm full.
This is the start of a long term way of eating. I need to think about WHY I'm eating and making sure its really for nourishment and fuel and not from being board, stressed etc.
Working out had been fine! But can't do one without the other!
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