True Friends = No Drama

Life is full right now. I have a very hard working husband. A very active toddler, and a very active infant in ma belly! My family is number one in my life with prioraties. I feel that support from family and friends helps lift the stress and craziness I sometimes feel! Any friend or family member that is positive, thoughtful, and constant is the greatest blessing.
I for one always strive to be that type of friend to others. Facebook has been a great help. If I don't call someone everyday its not because I don't care, I just don't have the time to call every person I care about and update them on a daily basis. So when I'm updating things on facebook and you happen to be on my friend list - that is my way of keeping you informed while being a full time mom.
I've had some weird cases in the past few months of BOTH family and friends who feel like Ben and I don't care, that we just want to cut them off. If I'm ever in charge of throwing a get-together, or an event I will invite everyone we're friends with. If you're not in town, I don't know I can't invite everyone I know on this planet just for the thought. If after like 3 invites to a person and they just don't show up, I dunno I just feel like maybe they don't feel like hanging out, or they themselves are too busy, so I may stop the invites and wait for them to come around. And I can't stand hearing that someone is coming to something I've planned, and I spend extra money on food etc and then not have the same people show up over and over again. Once and a while I understand - things come up all the time.
This dosen't mean I'm not your friend, that I don't like you. If I have a friend who needs support, help I'll be there. When your kids birthday comes around, you have a game night, or going out to dinner to celebrate something - I'm usually there no matter what. Once Ben and I went out of town for most of the day, and the hour we got back we seriously changed and walked back out the door for a friends event. We've gone to a couple things they've thrown, but they've never come to anything we have going on. Like I said once or twice is one thing - but 3 or more just feels like you don't care.
When I hear that I'm not inviting someone to anything, or not staying in touch its been ironic, because those same people - many have Never invited Ben and I to do anything, no invites to come over, no invites to go out, nothing. Sometimes we hear this from friends so then we try extra to get together with these people, but they keep giving excuses not to hang out so.....I don't get it. And saying "We need to get together soon" doesn't count. If you are putting the idea out there, I think its only fair that you plan whatever it is instead of putting the responsibility on me to plan something every time.
Same with distant family - I find sometimes I've been the only one over a year that has been the first to write an email or call, and yet when I do get an email from these peeps and I respond I get - "Wow its been forever! I thought you wrote us off!" Like I'm sorry! I guess when I'm the only one constantly starting the convos or trying to keep in touch and I don't get the same I feel like I'm just being annoying so I back up.
The real shaddy cases are when I see these people who complain about our lack of commitment in the friendship, are finding tons of time for others but decline many of our invites. Or they say things like "Ok hopefully you'll actually come over and visit us huh?" But I'm like if its your place, shouldn't YOU be inviting US over? Why should I call and say "Hey can you make us dinner at your place so you can see how we're doing? so..............
I take that as a waist of time, total drama. Don't complain about us if you really don't want our friendship anymore. It just feels like you're trying to put us down for whatever reason, but the sad thing for those people is that we don't care.
Don't care about those that are trying to bring drama upon us, we have a very happy life and many friends that do care and support us. Why would I want to continue a relationship that is a total downer? Why would I want my family to constantly tell us how awful we are for forgetting to call on our 2nd cousin's birthday? Why would I want to go through all the time to try to recover a relationship with a family member who consistently gets upset for the smallest things and tells us "I'm never talking to you again!" Whaaaa!!!
I put a lot of effort into those that do the same for me, if I had no friends well then I still have my family, I would be lonely in certain ways but I would still have whats most important to me, so the loss would be yours. I'm pretty sure if anyone is treated this way they will also move on and you'll find yourself with no one visiting you at all.
If you are wondering if you are one of these people I speak of, here's a test. Look in your inbox/sent mail, look at your past events on facebook. If I've been the one inviting you to more then 2 events in a row and you haven't shown up, or writing you first more then twice, or maybe you come to our stuff but never invite us to do...anything!- its a good chance you're one of these. If you really feel like Ben and I never hang out - have you been doing things yourselves but never inviting us? If yes on any of these, don't feel like I never want to be your friend again or stay in touch. Just know I don't have time to make effort for those who don't support me. I just don't - fact.
A friendship takes work like any relationship! If one person isn't trying the other will move on. We won't put an effort if you don't! Not to get back, we just don't have the time!
For those of you that have been there, we love you sooo much. We'll be there for anything unless something crazy comes up which then we'll definitely make it up to you! Friends that drive hours to be here, or write with positive things or true concern on things we've been through, or despite a full day still manage to come by, or those who try and get to know our family and friends. We love you and you make our lives so much more at ease!