Tuesday, September 22, 2009

2nd Pregnancy Journal

2nd Pregnancy Journal.

05/20/09

Around Midnight May 14th I took a 2nd pregnancy test that confirmed I was...well pregnant! I told Ben by asking if he wanted a birthday gift early and showed him. Two more test were taken with the same results. We wanted to wait a few days to tell anyone to make sure this time. My mom and sister where the only ones who knew.

I was surprised because I was diagnosed with PCOS after my post partum appointment after our first was born. I expected getting pregnant to be very difficult. My friend is struggling and she has the same thing. I told her that Ben and I honestly never tried nor prevented pregnancy. That means I got pregnant 9 months into my first year of marriage without birth control. Then 19 months after Michelle was born I got pregnant again also not using birth control during that whole time. So I feel that by not constantly thinking about getting pregnant and by keeping my weight under control, which I hear can be the secret to conceiving with PCOS, I feel these things made that time not feel like waiting. I live my life and concentrate on what I have now. If all this time had gone by and I didn't have kids yet, then I can defiantly see some action taken on our part. Many thought we had kids way too soon, but I see that maybe it wasn't soon at all. Maybe if I purposely avoided pregnancy then I wouldn't have gotten pregnant when I did or worse it may have put me off making me wait longer. So it may be a frustrating answer, but there it is. I truly believe my getting pregnant twice while having PCOS wasn't a special secret, it probably just took me long without me knowing it. Keep on going, take things a day at a time. Easier said then done, but that's what I've got.

My first appt is gonna take a while I'm going to a new OB, my last one retired. But I was given instrutions to just keep living life and not stress about anything too much. I was told how to calculate my due date Jan 16th!

So far I feel pretty good, just SOOOO TIRED!!!! Seriously if I didn't have Michelle to take care of I would be sleeping all day! I also have a little heartburn, but not too bad. All in all I'm going to stay positive and not for one moment consume myself with "what if's" and "remember last time's". This is a new pregnancy, it won't be exactly the same as the last and thats a fact.

Ben is so hoping for a boy! Me? I don't care this time, I got my beautiful girl the first time which I wanted sooo bad! Now I'm just going to sit back and enjoy the mysteries ahead!

Thanks for reading! I'll be keeping everyone informed!

05/28/09

Today I started feeling horrible. Not throwing up just tons of heartburn and nausea. Whats worse is I didn't get a hold of Ben all day which bothers me. I need to remind myself to not take anything out on him and separate the serious things from the little annoyances. We'll see how I do...


06/14/09

8 weeks - So, sometimes I feel sick, but food and heartburn meds seem to be the cure! I'm super greatful about that.

No pants fit me! I thought it was a myth that you grow faster the 2nd time, but the Dr says thats not the case many times. Like the night before I found out it felt like my pants where tight, and I wasn't eating more than normal. So as of yesterday I started wearing maternity pants, which actually feel amazing compared to strapping a bella band around my jeans. Its definelty different since last time I didn't need to get rid of my jeans until about the end of the 5th mth.

Other then that things have been stable! Every time I see baby stuff now, instead of panic or anticipation, I feel calm and just happy. Its not that this is not just as exciting, its just like the stress isn't there from the first one. I'm not watching the calender a billion times a day wondering if I'm that much closer. Instead, I'm just spending time watching Michelle grow and doing tons of housework which I feel numb to now.

Well thats it for now, not too exciting, but I'm super happy!

07/23/09

3 months - This was taken on my birthday 3mths and 1 week

So I'm alive and very well! Only threw up once (we were in London) cause I ate late and way too fast! But I conisder myself very lucky!

They only stress has been with Dr offices (I have to change again 2nd time!) and insureance. So we're getting on a different family plan. Pray for us its been such a pain the stress from it alone makes me depressed! But Sep I'm looking forward to finding out what the baby is! That keeps me going!

Other then that I feel so so blessed that I feel this good! I thank God for it every day!

07/31/09

I feel so bad for my fellow preggie moms who feel like the weight they've put on during the 9 mth stretch, makes them over-weight and un attractive.
Maybe its because I was never super thin, I won't say I was a fat teen cause I was never over weight then but I was much curvier then my less "blessed" friends.
So for me when my belly gets rounder and heavier I'm nothing but happy, people don't judge me, if they do they're freakin idiots. If you're eating bad foods that cause extra weight gain, then don't blame the pregnancy blame your over eating self.
May sound harsh, sorry, just lately I feel like all the sad comments about pregnant girls and their growing bodies being a bad thing, brings me down a little.

I do have complaints of my own, like I've broken out EVERYWHERE! Sorry TMI but its something I'm not used too, I never had bad skin, ever. After Michelle it was bad too, but now its been through the whole 4 mths so far, but I suck it up and know its not something I've done to myself and I invest in better skin stuff, and get over it.

My skin is also super dry all the time, my scalp, my arms, legs, FEET! I just need to learn to drown myself in lotion, and guess what? It helps.

I have heart burn like crazy, last night I cried and Ben had to help me sleep sitting up--ouch.

And lately I'm having huge fears about the actual labor, which last time I was just curious and calm. Now I'm in panic!

So there you go - I love how I look pregnant, its a result of nothing un-healthy. And if I feel bigger, hey! There's always cute clothes, hair and make-up! An effort can always be made ladies!

Sorry for the moody blog - I'm going to go distract myself now.

09/13/09

My Dr's office told me last week that there was a super long wait for the ultrasound, so they re-scheduled my appointment for this next week.
I was super bummed because I wanted to find out the gender!
Last night I bought a Parent magazine and found a section that was all about alternative ways to find out what the baby is. I was about to ignore it since most of the test I've been told are dangerous. But this one is a urine test, so I read about it online since it said the test was 85-90% accurate as soon as 10 weeks!

Here is the website to find out more info in case you want to know for yourself, or if your the type who fears I've done something totally selfish and dangerous...

http://www.intelligender.com/pages.php?pageid=5

We read up on the website for about a half and hour or so, enjoying the information including all the old wives tales myths I hate since they're all over the place, but fun yes.

So in the spirit of having fun with myths and Chinese calenders (Myths quiz say boy, Calendar says girl) Ben and I decided to give it a shot and he went to a late night Walgreens to pick one up!

We had fun seeing how "Lab like" the test was, and ten minutes later we got a very bright orange color which = girl!!!

They say to never ignore the importance of ultrasounds, so of course I'll still get one this week and have them give me their prediction. They also can be wrong too, but the odds are about the same. If both are wrong I'd probably wait again and re-do both later.

But for now that would be exciting huh? Another girl, a sister, another princess! If you think this means not so much shopping, I'd say it would be a more dangerous way of shopping, nothing I would need, all what I would want! LOL I'll keep you posted!

4-5 months


All has been well, I'd have to say nothing has been too crazy still! I have a new Dr, she's great! Dr. Rodriguez who will deliver the baby at St.Davids Round Rock. Blood pressure is perfect!!! Everything is healthy!
These past 2 months still no being sick or anything like that. The hard things are still heartburn, and lately I've been very soar after sitting for too long. My belly feels very tight, and my back has started to hurt but Ben has the magic touch.
I'm super emotional all the time too which is hard on everyone too I'm sure...ok well I know! But its hard on me more then anything, I can randomly reach these points of depression at any given moment.

I have so much support it helps see me through, Michelle is getting more and more aware of babies and enjoying their company. We have her dolls call her "big sister" and she changes the diapers, feeds them and things like that...but this is all for pretend so I still don't know how she'll feel of a permanent baby. But we have faith that everything will work out.

I love being pregnant and am feeling so excited about doubling my love for a child, for having and extra smile with us in our bed on Saturday mornings. I'll worry about the hard stuff as it comes, and just keep the faith!!

09/21/09

Dr Apt
At this apt, they did extra blood work, my blood pressure is 124/80 the babies heart rate is 150, everything is good! So I'm healthy and on track, the only thing is surprise surprise I may have antepartum depression. My hormones are way more out of wack then what is normal. I've freaked out about how if I'm told something the least bit upsetting, I could be up all night crying hysterically, (its embarrassing but true) It got that bad twice. I'm also so much less tolerant for things that annoy me. I hate venting over stupid little things, but now I freak out if I don't let out my feelings! I'm soooo sorry for the moodiness! I feel like a total brat on a daily basis. When I see the actual DR (she's on maternity leave) they'll talk to me about treatment if needed. But I don't think its that serious, I'll probably just be more aware of whats going on, which might help me calm down a bit! Which if anyone is confussed or lost - here's the drama with the insurance crud.
So there has been major drama this pregnancy with healthcare. Basically we waited forever to get me on Ben's insurance the day we found out, so I was a mth along. But it would take most of his check to add Shell and I, and me going back to work had the same outcome. Plus they considered pregnancy a pre-existing condition.We thought, maybe we would qualify for medicaid, in the meantime apts where self pay and at a small clinic which I hated. I kid you not working with medicaid took about 2 mths only to find we make too much. This insurance we have has a deductible, but Shell and I are covered, but guess what since I was high risk last time they won't cover a C-section or anything serious which I need a c this time also. Anyway...we had major complications with the insurance giving us a quote that included Ben and it took many calls many days to get the correct one, we made the payment, but since it was the end of the month the next week we had to pay again in order to get my cards, even though I had technically had coverage for a month. So thats the story behind that drama, and when I had my apt scheduled with my new dr, they had to keep rescheduling me since I didn't have my cards, then they told me last week that since I was past 20 weeks they couldn't keep me as a patient! Luckliy my old drs office (which my dr retired a year ago) had a new dr that said she would definetly take me, and they worked with my situation.
 
 
09/22/09
 
Today was the anatomy ultrasound! The baby started out spine up in a ball, but quickly responded to all that pressing and moved a ton for us. Ben and my mom where with me again this time. My sister Sarita was with Michelle in the waiting room. The head looked good, heart beating strong (148), no cleft lip. Arms and legs work very well...and ITS A GIRL!!! We were all glowing, it was a different feeling this time - last time it was like "Whoa! This is the direction are life is going!" Now its like "Wow this will enhance our life!" So more just happy and enjoying the ride with much less suspense and wonder, which I like! At first I really thought I saw male parts for a sec, and in my mind I was like "Ok, lets do this! I can work with a little boy!" But then of course when I heard girl I felt this calm, I always feel like I know but this time it was more like I felt that a girl would be right, it just fit. But either was going to bless us and make our family more complete! So we're soooo happy!
The only thing is the Dr felt that the baby was very petite, I am 99% sure of the conception, so we're looking at a small baby. Healthy, but tiny - but you know we're used to that! ;)
We ended our night looking at the US pics from this baby and Michelle. It was cool to see some similarities and differences! It looks like the mouth is the biggest difference (more Ben this time)
No names picked out yet, I've always loved the name Scarlett, and we like the name London. But I haven't set a "list" or anything. I was so set on Michelle since I was a kid, and was lucky that Ben liked it too, but I wanted to enjoy looking at names together and feel a connection with it the same time instead of me just having a list since childhood and giving Ben no say! LOL But we'll keep you posted! Thank you for your thoughts and prayers during some of these stressful hiccups along the way(in our Dr visits, not the baby's LOL)
 
09/24/09
 
The Perfect Name
I've always been funny with names. For Michelle it was the name I called all of my baby dolls, etc. I always thought I would have a girl first and that her name would be Michelle. Scarlett was a name I always had on the "list" but that was it.
I was lucky that Ben liked the name Michelle, but I didn't want to be the type of girl that was like "Hunny? I have all our kids names picked out - First So and So next So and So and then So and So etc." I wanted to go on the journey together, see what calls out to us as a pair. (He's involved too believe it or not! LOL) When I causally brought up the name Scarlett to him, he actually really liked it! I also don't like disscussing too much openly about my options with everyone for cases like saying "I like this name and this name, and also this one" and having a bunch of opinions including many negative. Because whatever name I choose I don't really want to know that some have expressed hatered towards it! LOL But I don't keep it totally private either like those who keep the name a total secret even from their parents until after the baby is born. None of these methods of deciding are for me.

I went through the process this time, going through the baby name book, discussing meanings and different possibilities. After finding out it was a girl, we did further discussion, Scarlett kept coming back for both of us. I don't care about how common or unique a name is. I'm not the type that consistantly looks at all the types of ways kids can make fun of a name (except for obvious bad names) I figure if a kid is mean enough to make fun of your kid, there name won't be the only thing they'll look for they'll think of something! I don't worry about what other people think, I care about what Ben and I want.

This morning I woke up and just starred out the window just in deep thought, and out of all the names we liked for some reason thinking of the name Scarlett made me feel a deeper connection to this baby. For a middle name we had thought of a bunch, I liked Jacqueline (after Jackie O and with french pronunciation to flow with Clermont) I thought more about women through out history that have smarts, elegance, great fashion sense and great influence. It hit me really hard - Grace Kelly. Scarlett Grace - it felt good!
Telling Ben he immediately loved it! Every time we thought about it, we felt warm and connected!
For those of you who wonder - yes in a way like Scarlett O Hara from my favorite movie since babyhood! But not necessarily AFTER her. But sure its a given I got influence from the film. And I've always been a huge Grace Kelly fan! For Ben, whatever sounds good and feels right, he's on board!

Anyway! There is is! The story of how our new girls name came to be! We love it and are very happy! Scarlett Grace Clermont
 
10/02/09
 
6 months - I'm sick today! No fun. My ears started getting stuffy and I think an infection followed!
Other then that I'm growing and growing! The past 2 weeks I've been able to SEE the kicks from outside the belly. I'm the only one that has seen it though, it seems she gets shy when more eyes are watching! LOL Thats different from Michelle, this one is more modest! I'm on a freaken expensive heartburn medication, one pill every 2 days keeps me heartburn free! I can eat the hottest foods and feel nothing! Only problem, it gives me terrible headaches, so now I'm up to taking 2 Tylonal in addition to the meds, which jumps up the amount of pills I take which I'm worried about, and its sad but I'd rather have the heartburn then the crazy terrible headaches I get with the meds.

Is it stupid that I had to pay $165 for the meds even after my insurance? I was in such shock when I saw the amount, I just signed no questions. I feel like the biggest idiot for not finding another option, the health-care system just makes me feel so used and dumb!

Whatever I'll fight next time, and regret it for now.

I'm loving looking for stuff for this baby, nothing too crazy just fun little stuff! (For now)

Ok well lets see, next appt is around the 20th this month and I'm taking the glucose test. I'm confident everything will be fine!
 
10/24/09
 
27 weeks - My Dr apt went well for my 27 week check. Blood pressure good for both me and the baby, weight gain is steady.
I took the infamous Glucose test! It wasn't as bad as I remembered, it just tasted like generic orange Gatorade! And the woman who took my blood was amazing! I didn't feel a thing! An interesting fact about me - any act that has to do with taking my blood usually leaves me crying or passed out, so this was a better experience!
There were some students in there with us which made it a little aquard! LOL
But everything turned out great!
Now I go back every 2 weeks already! Crazy huh? Flying by!

This week I do notice some minor swelling, my nose has grown like last time, and I've gotten super sick like for the 2nd time! This time major throat swelling! But I'm getting better so whatever!

Thats all for now!
 
11/05/09
 
30 weeks
This was an interesting appointment. First off Michelle needed to come with me, my mom and sister where both busy and Ben needed to work. But she was sooo perfect! She didn't fuss didn't cry didn't rebel, she sat in the waiting room reading magazines. Then went with me to the bathroom for the urine sample task, but just admired the wall tile. In the office she found a chair for her size and read a book very quietly. While the nurse took my blood pressure she got real concerned and said "Mama? You ok?" The nurse and I both reassured her everything was fine, but she still looked pretty worried. It was cute! When the Dr came in Michelle was quiet still and stayed calm and sweet all the way back to the car were she fell asleep. I thank God for such an easy kid! I'm too lucky.

Maybe not so lucky in giving birth. There has been this whole C-section mystery. I've heard many things about needing to have one every time after you have one once. Well apparently thats not the case. If the surgery took place due to long time pushing, baby heart rate dropping, preeclampsia while full term, the risks the next time are super low meaning a vaginal birth is 100% ok. You could have a choice of having another c-section, but after 2 its certain to keep going, and me wanting more kids and being young that can cause many problems later on as c-sections get more and more risky.

Unfortunately for my case I had Michelle over 2 mths early and it was my first pregnancy. So my uterus never stretched too far, it was small small. So the healing was different for me, the risk of basically an exploding uterus is high. They give you as much time as they can to ensure the healthiest baby, but that puts me at a 35 week c-section this time. Next visit in 2 weeks we'll know the for sure day I'll be scheduled.

As for the baby, she's healthy and strong. The average case would be she would be premature but will probably only need to stay in the hospital for 2 weeks. Ben and I talked and decided, Hey! We've been through this before, this time it will be a heads up and risks will be much lower. We're going to stay faithful and positive.

I'm really not worried, I love the fact that I will be a mother of 2!

Here is the medical explanation -
The classical C-section is the procedure that leaves women with a large vertical scar across their belly. The doctor makes a vertical incision and cuts through tissue, fat and muscle to reach the uterus, where he makes another a vertical incision. Doctors used this technique in the past to give more room for delivery. But they later realized that there were less complications (and a better-placed scar) if the delivery space were reduced. Today, this method is reserved for specific cases, such as an extremely premature baby. The classic C-section is the best choice in this scenario because the lower part of the uterus doesn't thin out until later in pregnancy. The upper part of the uterus is thinner, so doctors must access the baby that way. Women who have gone through a classic C-section are usually not able to deliver any future children vaginally due to a high risk of uterine rupture.

Classical C-Section/Prematurity Awareness Month.

November 5, 2009 at 8:56pm


 
11/19/09
 
32 weeks
I had some good news, and some eh news this appointment.

Good news is the Dr says they'll do constant checks via US to moneter my uterus to make sure there is no stress, if not I can deliver close to Jan! I would love to get though the holidays with no worries and hopefully get a big chubby baby! LOL I don't care if she's a 9lb one! Big is good in my experience!

However, protein showed up in my urine today and I've had obsessive swelling in my hands sometimes for long hrs without going down. My blood pressure is ok, so no emergancy. But I have to check it every day in case preeclampsia strikes, then we're looking back at the beginning of Dec.

So I have no idea what to expect at this point, I'm just going to take it one day at a time. The baby is good and strong so that helps. In fact theres a kick right now!! LOL

I'm also totally cutting out soda and high salty foods, some women don't know that can actually cause the illness, so boring foods for now with the occational "fun" meal. I never really drink soda to much anyway, we never kept it in our home, and my siblings drink every once if my parents get any, so no fear!


 

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