Freaking Out!!

The past couple months I keep having nightmares about delivering this baby. It didn't bother me too much at first, same thing happened with Michelle. But these dreams keep getting worse. Most of them I end up dying, and a couple I can see every ones reactions and I wake up in tears and sweats! I don't see dying in my future, last pregnancy I wasn't really scared of delivery, I was excited. I had total faith that everything would be fine and that whatever pain I may experience would be forgotten. That wasn't the case. The IV alone was traumatic for me, I'm terrified of them to begin with, but when they hooked me up last time my hands where so swollen (couldn't close them at all!) that they had to basically stab me over and over to finally get it to work. It bothered me the next few days, and finally they told me they could remove it. But that evening my blood pressure went up again and they had to give me another IV, at which it was so painful I cried for like an hour over it. I still vividly remember how it felt and it plays over in some of these dreams. There was also the blood pressure cuff that was hooked up to my arm for almost a week that squeezed every 15 mins. And my blood had to be taken a couple times a day during those 2 weeks, and some nurses weren't the gentle types.

So I'm freaking out this time. An IV and having my blood taken is going to happen, and I haven't had to push or anything, and now it just scares me vs. it being an exciting mystery. With these dreams it just makes it worse, and I try not to think about it when I'm awake since that probably triggers them but I don't know.