4-19 NICU nurses are amazing! Three of our favs are Argee, Jill and Elissa. I feel very blessed to have them step in as co-mommies during these early times. These women help coach me and support me with every step. There has only been one who we can tell dosent really like her job. She dosent talk to me much, usually critisizes, and I get a feeling she cuts corners. But by far our girl has many many devoted nurses who I can tell care. They check in and visit with her even when they're not assigned to. I'm very grateful to those women who are angels on earth!
4-21 Bo is now 4lbs 5oz! I feel she is really recognizing Ben and I as people of signifigance. No doubt she knows Ben at least, he has a very distinct voice and face and is the only man she sees daily vrs. Me who is one of the 10s of women she hears and sees. But I've learned after three NICU girls that the time will come when I'll be the main chica she'll be around and our bond will be strong. Since being home and finally getting lots of rest, my milk supply has doubled. I find watching Mad Men helps pass the time while pumping.
4-22 I'm learning to be patient and really relax and let Bo take her time. She was taking bottles so well, but has gotten really tired while trying the past two nights. She has sometimes forgotten to breath while holding milk in her mouth. Its very scary. So I have excepted that this will never be a breeze through. She will come home when she is ready. Not my fault I love her so much though! Lol
Scarlett stayed up a little later tonight to lay in bed with me and talk. I said I love her so much and was glad to spend time with her. She asked why and I said it was because she is my baby. Then she asked flat put how babies get in the mommy's belly. So i started explaining the pre-existance and painted a scene in her mind of Heavenly Father pulling her aside and oucking a nive family to live her. Then we talked about the veil and turning into a baby so the body and spirit can learn and grow here on earth. Once i explained hetting old and dying and going bavk to heaven, she asked "Wait? I will die!?" I went over it a couple more times and said how in heaven there are no owies, no saddness, no scary. She is still concerned, but it was the first discusion we had about the plan of salvation where she actually conversed about it. Too cute.
4-23 Visiting after hours sure is a pain
4-25 Boleyn is now in an open crib! The first week I was feeling like this was a million days away, turns out it was only 27! She is now struggling with a bottle. They tried uping her bottles to 3 a day, but had to go back down to 2. She has episodes of forgetting to breath. When she comes out of it it sounds like she's drowning and then she screams. Its basically like living in a scary movie. When I left her tonight she was just wide awake starring at me. I came back and put my hand on her back and just starred back. It took forever for me to leave her. With this baby I've lost all my toughness due to my past two prefnanciss. I get nervous and emotional way more often. She will clme home when she is ready. From that day forward she'll have the best life a little girl can hpavr!
4-26 I wish I was still pregnant. Feeling pretty robbed today.
4-27 Our princess is looking so chubby!!!! Im so grateful!!!
4-30 Had a feeling said nurse was taking short cuts with Boleyn during her shifts. I have come in twice finding the baby still hooked up to her feeding tube in bed and have thought she was getting fed early, but no she was just hooked up and left there through the feeding and four hours until her next one. I know that the nurses dont have time to hold every baby through every feeding, but this was not quite right. So I decided to drop in today between feeding randomly after calling and learning that that nurse was assigned to her today. Sure enough Bo was left alone still hooked up to the feeding machine and wide awake. At this point she had been left hooked up for two hours and obviously not checked on since. Shes not in any danger since the monitor goes off if any issues but I dont like that she gets no human contact for such long periods of time. Even though Im technically not supposed to, I unhooked the baby myself and picked her up and rocked her to sleep. It felt good to take charge of my own baby ! All is forgiven, no true harm done. I just cant wait to have her with me 24-7!
5-1 We are in May! The baby is looking so good and is getting better at bottle feeding! I still have no idea when she can come home, but I'm thinking soon!
5-9 I have been out of days on pain meds. My gallbladder has to come out! I was in the ER in the worse pain! Pumping has stopped and I feel so put out! Just hoping I get this surgery over with so I can go back to mommy mode :/
5-10 The baby might come home tomorrow! Ben and I were shopping all day getting things ready just incase! We had to buy a new carseat since our other didnt support her enough. Big suprise! This happened before with Michelle. Some people think Im spolied trying to get a bunch of things for a third girl, but I honestly didnt buy much for Michelle or Scarlett since their early arrivals were so unexpected. Most things were lended to me. I pretty much bought what a first time Mom would buy, actually more since I didnt have a baby shower since, again, third girl. Ben and I had fun though! We got some great stuff! We are ready!
5-11 She's Home! I will write the story in a new entry! This has been another crazy NICU experience full of ups and downs. The end is bitter sweet!
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