New Love

Ben and I have definitely gone through some challenges. This has been from almost a year of little things building up that led to some sad moments. After talking with our trusted Bishop, we instantly identified our sadness as the works of evil out there, a source that wants nothing more then to see us unhappy. This unhappiness effects not only the both of us, but our precious children and other family and friends as well. We left with a promise of peace if we choose to make some changes. We are more honest and have much clearer communication. By doing so we were told we would feel our love renewed.
This past week we laugh again, we hold our gaze longer, and our hands, our hugs. We're spontaneous like we used to be, some things we would normally fight about we shrug our shoulders at.
We have been so blessed with a rare love. After 5 years and two kids we found we could truly and passionately love each other again.

While picking up our daughter tonight from the NICU, we were doing the routine, letting the women at the window know we were there, and then to the 3 min scrub station. While walking in the nurse at the window said "I'm sorry I just have to comment, I've seen so many couples come here and none have had a glow like you guys. Sure it can be a sad time coming here, but seeing you two laugh, look at one another like you truly care? I dunno its like you're two teens newly dating! Its amazing to see!"
That right there was my answer, we are going to be happy, we'll be together forever! We thought we were just being, normal? But for someone to notice our love through our normal routine, it was amazing!!

I also found myself reading old emails from 2005-2006 a whole year of being engaged we didn't have phones so we wrote to each other constantly. I had them saved on an old myspace account that I just never deleted, most of the friends are deleted, but for some reason I felt it wasn't right to let go. I found these emails and copied all of them to a word doc. I had forgotten just how much Ben thought of me, how much he loved me, how strong he was in the church. I always bring up the mistakes he made, to the point I forgot all the great things he did for me. He wrote me the longest emails telling me how sure he was that I was the one and that we would be together forever. I was sobbing after reading some of them, his words were so strong and so full of love, and he took the time to write these things down for me. I'll keep them forever. I can delete this account now.

Stay positive, remember the moments you feel in love, be willing to change, kiss more, hold hands again, keep or bring back your old activities, give compliments, be seductive again, joke around, never put them down, read your old love notes, you can find that spark again, you'll want time to be still again, growing old together and beyond will be your sweetest dream again.

I love my Ben, and I find myself getting butterflies when I see his face once more!